Attack by ANTS!!

Eeeek!! Hate it!!

My house is under attack by the ANTS! So many of them, really wonder where they came from. So pissed to see them inavde my food, my kitchen, my living room, my sofa, my bedroom... bascially the whole of my house.

Go away ants! Don't make me kill you. I hate the feeling of killing you guys. :(

Anyone can help get rid of them?? Desperately need help!!

The irony of love

Met up for lunch with long time good friend last week. Had a long long chat... We talk about many things, and it led me to think about the word "LOVE".

Love can be ironic. Phones calls, words of concerns, hugs and touches are all so welcoming at the initial lovely dovey stage. However, as time goes by, these seemingly welcoming gestures may inturn becomes much of an irritation. How is that possible? Where has the feeling of love went to?

As the euphoria of love fades, couples need to work together to maintain a relationship. It is often taken for granted that love is self sustaining. Sad to say, it does not happen in reality. Love does not last naturally. Both parties have to nurture and grow their own fruit of labour.

Nurturing the love fruit is not easy. It takes time, patience, courage, communication and alot more to nourish it. It is often easier to choose the easy way out i.e. escaping and ignoring. It is definitely not the wisest choice but many are falling prey to it.

Hope all is well for you, my good friend

JJ

I'm so so elated!!

Ryan finally utter out the word Ma Ma. I'm really so happy. No words can describe the amount of excitment and happiness I felt when I heard him calling me as Ma Ma.

So so happy!!!

I'm to my limit!!

Really wonder how some can do it. Definitely not for me!!

It's such a awful feeling, not only for me, but I believe for you as well. There's no meaning to it.

Confront if you dare instead of sneaking behind.

I'm really to my limit!!

Ryan first few steps!!

Yippee!! Ryan knows how to walk. And he is so happy about it, always beaming with a smile, revealing his 4 front teeths

Started off with just a step or two, he got bolder and attempted more steps forward. And when he realised he succeeded, he was beamng with joy, clapping his hands!

Now waiting for the day when he utter the word "Ma Ma".

So excited, so happy and so glad to see him growing up.

Loving him with all I have
JJ

Back to School!

Once again, I have resume being a student. Difference this time is I will have to be skilled like a clown,juggling between a full time job and being a Mom.

Thought about it for quite awhile and finally pluck up my courage. It is going to be be tough, especially so for the fee issue, but I believe I can do it.

Wish me luck!!

Reality hurts

Sometimes it really doesn't pay to be kind. When you thought you are being helpful and nice, the worst thing that can happen is when you realise the very person you are helping is not genuine. The pictures have become clearer and clearer.

Welcome to the world of reality.

I am sad, but what can I do? I figure out there is nothing much I can really do except to be careful as to who I am helping next time. It is certainly not a nice feeling. Its awkward, having to face the person. I feel uncomfortable and have a sudden urge to dump aside everything and leave. As times goes by, more issue starts to surface and I figure I cannot go on as if nothing has happen.

Guess I have only myself to blame. If I was more alert, I would not have been hurt.

Hope I can figure a way out and not hide from it.

JJ

I have finally moved! Shifted 1 week ago, it was so so tiring. My bones are breaking. the aftermatch: Continuous unpacking!! Scary. But what to do?

Been going home after work to clear off the stuff bit by bit. Slow but I'm glad it is moving. Will definitely be able to clear things before new year :)

To all who is reading the blog, just in case if u felt that I am suddenly engaged in a MIA game, there is something strange about my phone. on and off, it kinda miss out on messgaes and phone calls. Hmmm.. wonder if it is a sign that I should replace it? LoL.... probably I should go check out when my contracts expire.

Been wanting to do a lot of stuff, which I have not been able to.

1) Holiday - I realy really need a break!! feeling so burned out and lethargic

2) More time for Ryan. Feels that I have miss out on a huge portion of his life, miss out on his growing up, so much so that everytime when I think of it, I felt so sad and feel like crying. :( Everytime when I see him, I was like "wah, grow so much le". I did not have the chance to witness the every little details and stages of his growth and development. It is like watching a fast forwarded video everytime. And I am really really upset about it.

3) Job - Been thinking if it is time for me to move on However, alot of things is bugging me. the most being the salary issue. Wonder if I am able to find a job that pays adequately. Have been quite discourage as usually most job requires degree, which leads me to the next issue - Studies (shall talk about in awhile) Just gotta knwo that my colleagues are much much better paid than I am, although we may be doing the same stuff. In case you are wondering, I found out by accident and the difference in terms ofmonetary wise is really alot. Felt so demoralised. How much I am worth to my team and does effort and results really equates to rewards? Guess world is not really fair. Know that all the while but seems like this time is it more "real". Sigh.... $$ is always a senstive issue.

4) Studies - Should i get a degree? but the biggest obstacle for me will be the fee issue. Another sigh....


Signing off
JJ

Farewell Grandma

I love you Grandma, love you lots...

I really hate to say goodbye
Cant bear to let go

There are many regrets, many...
Many I should have
Many I should not have

Precious memories, flashbacks, thoughts
Flooding and crowding my mind

My eyes are tired, so i my body
My heart is tearing and wrenching

Picking myself up

Learning to let go

Do not woory about us Grandma
We will learn
We will take care of ourselves

I know you will find happiness in heaven
Reuniting with those whom you missed dearly

I really love you so much Grandma...
But I know have to be strong
To bid you farewell
I know you will want us to live well

Missing you...